Love. We want it. Need it. Even during this time of social distancing due to the novel coronavirus. Maybe we need love even more now so we can try to manage issues related to isolation and loneliness. (I’ll have a post on these issues soon.)
But should love be given without any conditions? And can we control who we love? Had another discussion on my YouTube channel with guest Damien Dubose to discuss how adults can show love—whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or with family. We limited the talk to adults, because the relationships people have with children shouldn’t be subject to conditions. But for adults, who decide how to treat us—and for us, as we decide what kind of treatment to accept—the question of love without conditions can get interesting.
Finally, no matter what, love is important. But if you’re looking for more practical tips on how to handle social contact now, see this related post from Johns Hopkins Medicine. As we continue to practice social distancing to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 infection, I’m wishing you the best and hope you can stay safe.
Whether I’m editing a story about relationships or writing one, dating is a subject that can be top of mind for me—and lots of us. Millions of us, perhaps. (More than 110 million Americans were single in 2016 alone, the U.S. Census Bureau reported in 2017, with millions now dating online and beyond.)
But all of this dating isn’t going well, as you might know if you’ve dipped into these waters.
I figured it was time to talk about this topic on video. Especially since, when it comes to men and women who are dating, there can be miscommunications about intentions, what people really want vs. what they accept…and more.
I mean, we live in the era of ghosting. Clearly some things aren’t right.
These discussions also led me to reinvigorate my YouTube channel, which you can find at www.youtube.com/user/lesliequander. So, please view this video I did with Damien Dubose—I wanted to include the male side of the discussions I’ve been having—and tell me what you think.
When it comes to the past, I’ll say this: Don’t forget about it. Learn from it. If you feel compelled to wallow or to beat yourself up about decisions you made in the past—or things that you endured—this advice holds true for you, too. We can be hard on ourselves. But the past is our teacher, and for that it’s valuable. The present is ours to treasure. And the future will come—ideally.
Looking at this photo, I can still remember how this day truly felt as I sat high on top of these landmark towers in Valencia, Spain. It was a peaceful yet brilliant series of moments. Sunny. Clear. Anything felt possible. I was in the present moment, and yet able to look back on what I’d learned.
It was a fitting place to reflect. These towers began to be constructed in 1392 and were used as both “a defensive feature of the city and also as a triumphal arch,” according to VisitValencia.com. Think about that. They’ve stayed strong for hundreds of years, through some difficult times. And somehow continued to be triumphant.
We can be the same way. Minus a few centuries. 😉
These days, I’m grateful for my growth. I can remember the high points—so wonderful when they come—and the lows. These things work together for our good.
I’ll share more from this time in Spain, and am looking forward to writing and teaching more on wellness and success in the coming weeks. Are you looking for growth or coaching support in these areas? Feel free to email me.
Wishing you well for now. And glad to have hope and faith.
This is what I’m thinking about. And it’s funny that this comes to mind as I’m reporting a freelance story on dating. But these thoughts come when they do.
The reason? I’ve been traveling again, and I’ve had the best times strolling around the world by myself. Seriously. I mean, it’s nice to roam with people, too. But there’s something about doing whatever you want, whenever you want.
I was one of the people who considered quitting in recent years — and actually did it! — so I know how you may be feeling. But whether you want to get a new job (perhaps with a better salary or more growth potential) or work for yourself (like I do now), it’s important to think ahead. And a certified financial planner can help.
So I wrote about four questions to ask a CFP before you resign. Or, at minimum, four questions to consider for yourself. Because quitting can feel great. But being well prepared for your next phase can feel even better.
Sometimes I think we can be afraid to say what we really want. Maybe some of us don’t want to admit what we really desire. Maybe we think we can’t have it. Maybe we don’t even consciously know what we crave!
So will you join me in saying what you want? Even just quietly to yourself? The point is to get comfortable with your goals—whether they relate to your career, relationships, investing, or whatever—and to believe they are possible. Tell me what you think? Or feel free to comment on Instagram.
I love writing about personal finance and helping people learn how to meet their goals in this area. That said, when it comes to investing, I know it can feel overwhelming if you’re not sure where to start. And even if you have experience, it never hurts to keep learning and improve your strategy.
For instance, many of us may have learned more about shoe shopping than buying stocks—and we pay for this lack of knowledge when we miss out on the returns investing can bring.
Meanwhile, some people in older generations are working longer than they’d planned. So it’s important to have an effective investing strategy for the short and long term.
As this month comes to a close, I’m reminded of what I’ve learned. The new things I’ve tried. The myriad opportunities that are here now and ahead.
I’ve accomplished a lot, and you probably have, too. So you also probably realize that success isn’t immediate. The best ideas can start with a seed that then grows and matures. And growth—through life’s storms and during the sunny days—is what matters.
So as long as you’re moving, learning, being challenged, please keep going. It’s actually good when life isn’t simple. It’s good when we face challenges. The things we’ve beaten can prepare us for the next round of the fight.
These things can prepare us for big victories.
So, like the sunflowers of summer–and those that will sprout this fall (I can’t wait to see those!)–let yourself grow.
Look to the light. Start that new venture, pitch that story, write that book, have that key conversation. Do the things you’ve been wanting to do.
Experience it all. And let yourself live.
For more views of these gorgeous flowers and my latest musings on writing and life, please visit me on Instagram.
And if you need a hand with your writing projects or career goals, see this page or this one for details on how I can help.
The clouds came in quickly. One minute the sky was bright and sunny. Then, suddenly, grayish black. With fat raindrops beginning to fall. I didn’t have my umbrella. So I waited inside. And it passed. The storm, that is. It passed…like they always do. That’s the part to remember.
When we’re in the middle of difficult situations, it can be hard to see past the rain, and the distractions, and the stress. When it comes to writing, for instance, rejections are part of the game. Having to learn new skills and processes, and frustration with that learning curve, can be, too.
But we have to know that these things can’t last forever. That we’ll get better. And that we can withstand the hard times to get to the good ones. Nothing worth having comes without some struggle.
Adjusting our mindsets can help during turbulent times. And actually, speaking of mindset, we can notice beauty (like in this street shot I captured) even when the bleakest clouds come in. Have you been surprised by a storm? Remember that it won’t last forever. Be calm in the moment. And realistically (all metaphors aside), carry an umbrella to be prepared. Mine is now securely back in my bag. ☺️
And if you want help with the storms that can accompany getting your writing or communications career going—whether it comes to pitching yourself or just having the confidence to start—please let me know. I have advice for that, too. ✨