Dating: Why We Need Boundaries—and How to Create Them

Whether I’m editing a story about relationships or writing one, dating is a subject that can be top of mind for me—and lots of us. Millions of us, perhaps. (More than 110 million Americans were single in 2016 alone, the U.S. Census Bureau reported in 2017, with millions now dating online and beyond.)

But all of this dating isn’t going well, as you might know if you’ve dipped into these waters.

I figured it was time to talk about this topic on video. Especially since, when it comes to men and women who are dating, there can be miscommunications about intentions, what people really want vs. what they accept…and more.

I mean, we live in the era of ghosting. Clearly some things aren’t right.

These discussions also led me to reinvigorate my YouTube channel, which you can find at www.youtube.com/user/lesliequander. So, please view this video I did with Damien Dubose—I wanted to include the male side of the discussions I’ve been having—and tell me what you think.

“Women need to demand more.” Watch my YouTube channel for the rest—including how to do it.

We talked about wanting to be asked out vs. being asked to “Netflix and chill,” what it means to have standards and really enforce them, and people who pretend to care—but don’t.

He started by telling me: “Women need to demand more.”

Mic drop. (But we kept going!)

Do listen, and please subscribe to my YouTube channel for more on relationships, writing, wellness, and more.

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Snapshot: It’s Good to be Content Alone

Solo travel in Valencia, Spain.

This is what I’m thinking about. And it’s funny that this comes to mind as I’m reporting a freelance story on dating. But these thoughts come when they do.

The reason? I’ve been traveling again, and I’ve had the best times strolling around the world by myself. Seriously. I mean, it’s nice to roam with people, too. But there’s something about doing whatever you want, whenever you want.

So I’m popping in to share this related Instagram post. ⁣What do you think? Can you roam solo—even in your hometown? Can you go to shows alone, eat out alone, even explore alone?
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If you haven’t lately, do try it. Even for an hour or a day. No harm in it. When it comes to writing, it’s actually one way to get some really great story ideas…that you can eventually share with the world. Or not. (For more tips on how to find writing inspiration, please read my related blog post.)
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And if you have thoughts, comment here or come tell me on Instagram! We had some great exchanges about how our relationships can be affected if we’re not open to spending time solo.

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